My College Essay
A butterfly effect is where one small occurrence in initial conditions can create a significantly different outcome. Due to swift changes in life, this beautiful world can be torn away instantaneously without notice. Yet, I have found that showing kindness to someone, spreads like a chain reaction. I have concluded that the smallest of moments to one person, can easily impact someone else’s life in a vast number of ways.
As my teenage years began, my resentment and inherent agitation with others grew. I often disrespected others around me, and I easily started arguments with my family and friends. There was a longing for authority in my life and repetitive panic attacks to remind me of my lack of control. That is when I met Marie, during the summer entering seventh grade. I saw her sitting alone at lunch, and I had asked to sit with the lonely, short raven-haired girl with brown doe eyes. Looking back, I recognize this moment to be the beginning of my own butterfly effect. Marie and I became inseparable, my anxieties were swept away in the wind and I changed into the person I was longing to be. We dreamed of going to Paris, learning French, and continuing to be as close as we were that summer. We created homemade water slides and laughed at the little things; we argued and loved each other as sisters. She wasn’t everyone’s favorite person, but she was mine, she was kind, sympathetic, altruistic, and smiling in all the things she did. She always had a smile from ear to ear.
The perfect burning hot Summer came to an end like many great things, with its memories tucked away in the forefront of my subconscious where I would regularly remember how extraordinary it was. January 17, of 2016 could easily be one of the worst days of my life. Marie had Leukemia and due to complications in her treatments, she passed away. I attended her wake with my mother and sister. When I walked up to the closed casket, I looked at her picture and couldn’t believe it was happening. Marie’s mom hugged me and said, “Your kindness meant much more to her then you will ever know, she will always be watching over you now.” I will never forget the way she said it with tears rolling down her face. She explained how Marie loved spending time with me, and always came back home with a smile on her face. There is a difference between merely being part of someone’s life and changing it for the better. If I never gave that one, simple act of kindness to ask to sit with her, Marie would never be given the opportunity to facilitate such an unfathomable impact on my life.
Maintaining good grades, being a competitive Irish dancer, soccer player, friend, daughter, and sister are made nearly impossible when it feels like the world is collapsing around you. With untimely deaths, comes a moment where your breath is kicked out of your lungs and you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Grieving at a young age sparked many emotional issues such as intense anxiety and depression, but it also created a wise insight into the world around me. Pushing past a hardship, such as grieving, opens one’s mind to new questions along with opening and closing doors to opportunities to relay the kindness and compassion reciprocated during a time of need.
After Marie’s passing, an overwhelming feeling that my life was not fulfilled had ensued. However, after trial and error and the cycle of friends coming and leaving, I learned that my momentous accomplishments are simply through kindness. I now believe fortitude and consideration alone can withstand the most substantial changes. While I may always struggle with Marie’s passing, I now comprehend the importance of kindness and compassion in all situations.
